Can you hear that? It’s the sound of a marketing department in Woking desperately clutching at straws.

See, McLaren has just announced a hilariously tenuous run of special-edition 720Ss. It’s called the ‘Apex Collection’ and celebrates bum-clenching high-speed cornering, namely the art of apex speed. Yes, really. This limited-run of 15 McLaren 720S Coupés are all finished in five designs linked to the nations associated with McLaren successes on the track and how fast you could potentially go through a corner on a famous circuit in a 720S. Please, somebody, shake us. We’re not going mad, are we? It’s not April 1st, is it? Gah!

Anyway, there’s ‘Apex Great Britain’ – celebrating the potential of 110mph through Abbey corner that begins a lap of the Silverstone Grand Prix circuit. However, nobody says how much defecation involuntarily falls out of your backside while trying this. Or ‘Apex Germany’ and 85mph that’s possible at the Mobil 1 kurve that leads into the old stadium section at the Hockenheimring. More of a French kind of corner person? Then ‘Apex France’ is for you and the grand speed of 104mph, referring to the apex speed in the sweeping Signes curve at the end of the Mistral Straight onto the Circuit Paul Ricard. Spa Fan? Good, as there’s ‘Apex Belgium’ and Eau Rouge. How fast can a 720S get through there? 103mph. Which is shifting, to be fair. Finally, ‘Apex Italy’ and 90mph that some nutter fired through the Ascari chicane that precedes the famous Parabolica at Monza.

But how will everyone know that you’re a corner fanboy and bought a car to let everyone know? Well, you’ll have to open the dihedral doors. Then you’ll be able to see the special badge and MSO carbon sill with the apex speed scrawled on it. Whoop-de-doo. How much do you have to pay for this privilege? £288,813. Somebody, please shake us again.